Emotionally Conflicted
by hannoyoko
Summary: Snippy takes a leap of faith that initially doesn't blow over well. Engsnip. Oneshot.


**Hello! It's been a while. Hopefully this oneshot makes up for it.  
Truthfully, I've had this stored in my drafts since July; it was something I've been debating posting for months now, and the deciding result was a twitter poll (because I am obviously very, _very_ professional and take these things extremely seriously). **

**I do, however, have other things planned. Won't say anything just yet, but it will be posted... _eventually_. I can't provide a date, as I'm very busy with school and other life affairs that need to be tended to, but hopefully I can have something up in the next coming months. **

* * *

Another day, another mission. Charles Snippy is awoken by what sounds like the clanging of a gong. Irrefutably, that meant Captain had something for him to do today, although Snippy wasn't sure where zee had come across a gong in the wasteland.

 _At least there wasn't a ridiculous costume this time_ he remarks to himself as he rises out of bed, careful to not disturb the one sleeping next to him. Charles was partially surprised; usually Alexander was the first to rise, being a remarkably light sleeper and all. But he _had_ been working hard lately- Captain's new project for him had left him working well into the night, only coming to bed when Charles was starting to wake up. Charles was sure that Alexander was near nocturnal at this point.

He'd let him rest.

But he'd jinxed it; Charles hears the telltale sounds of Alexander awakening behind him. He was so _close_. He turns to face Alexander. It'd be rude if he didn't, as he'd likely be gone for most of the day.

" Hey," Alexander says, stretching.

" Hey." Charles replies. " I have to go- Captain."

" Mm. You better go do that. Whatever 'it' is."

" Something ridiculous." Charles mutters under his breath.

" Irrefutably." Alexander chuckles and rises out of bed, loosely snaking his arms around Charles, " try not to die, okay?"

" Yeah, I'll try really really hard not to do that."

" Okay," Alexander smiles, a rare sight, " sounds like a plan."

" It's all I've got for one." Charles admits.

" _Snippy_ ," Pilot's telltale whine suddenly reaches the two of them. He peaks his head into the room a split second later, realization filling his features once he's realized what's taking the sniper so long, " _oh_. Try not to _fondle_ each other for too much longer, Captain's waiting." And with that, the aviator leaves, grumbling to himself, likely about how the two were a pair of shoes who were too disobedient to deserve to be part of Captain's army. The usual.

Alexander and Charles share a knowing look. With a sigh, Alexander detaches himself from the sniper, saying, " you'd better go."

" Yeah," Charles sighs. " I'll see you tonight."

Alexander kisses his cheek and the two stand there for a few moments, sharing the pleasant silence they'd be unable to enjoy for the rest of the day.

All good things must come to an end, though. Charles finally breaks the silence to bid his final farewell for the morning.

" Alright. Bye. I love you."

Alexander stares at him in shock, and Charles immediately regrets opening his mouth in the first place. Had he said it wrong? Maybe it wasn't a good time, maybe Gromov wasn't comfortable with hearing those words just yet, maybe-

Maybe Gromov didn't feel the same.

He should have just stayed quiet, giving the usual "see you tonight" he had always given.

Gromov wasn't saying anything- just staring, his deep brown eyes showing no emotion. Charles had no clue what he was thinking.

He was stupid for saying anything in the first place. Gromov probably didn't see him as anything more than a friend with benefits. They were the only two sane people left on the planet, of course Gromov would choose him. That didn't mean he had feelings for Charles.

His mouth is dry.

" I'll see you tonight." Charles says numbly, shouldering his gun and heading off.

* * *

The day is slow to pass for the two, as they're both fretting over the other and the state of things, as well as what could come out of the morning's events. As a result, they are both exhausted when evening approaches, leaving them both more irritable and vulnerable to getting into an argument.

It is dinner when things come to the boiling point.

" How was your day?" Alexander asks Charles once the two have settled into a worn couch with their respective cans of beans.

" Fine." Charles says bluntly, saying the least as to avoid the possibility of an argument for as long as possible.

However, it's a waste of effort, as this is always the time where they argue, where they lay all the day's cards out on the table and allow all the stress to culminate to a boiling point.

And sometimes, that means they have to get into a fight.

Alexander is the one to initiate, rebuking with, " are you mad at me for this morning?"

" No." Charles quickly replies, avoiding eye contact.

" You are."

" Eat your beans." Charles replies swiftly.

Instead, Alexander slams his can of beans onto the table and turns to face Snippy so quickly that his neck cramps. He ignores it out of pride, but finds it hard to do so.

" You can't put this off forever, you know." Alexander snaps.

" I'm not putting _anything_ off."

" You're putting it off right now!" Alexander's voice has risen in volume in tandem with his rising temper.

" Putting _what_ off?" Pilot asks from across the room. He and Captain are staring at them. They'd both been so uncharacteristically quiet that Snippy and Alexander had even forgotten they'd been present.

" _Nothing_." Alexander and Charles say at the same time. Alexander shoots Charles a glare and stands, storming out of the room.

" Fuck sakes," Charles mutters to himself, " he's so goddamned dramatic sometimes."

" Mister Snippy!" Captain saunters over, Pilot hot on zeer heels, " what was that about?"

" Nothing." Snippy repeats. " Something happened this morning, and he feels that we need to talk about it. Which we don't."

" Well now you _do_ , cuz he seems so angry with you," Pilot pipes up.

" Why is this any of your concern?" Snippy gives the aviator a hard look. He shrugs, but Captain quickly butts in.

" Morale," Zee says, " this squad won't function if two of its members are cross with each other."

" I'm not mad at him!" Snippy insists.

" Fine. But he's _definitely_ mad at you."

The sniper groans, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before rising and saying, " fine, I'll go talk to him."

Before he leaves the room, he adds, " but before I do, I'd like to add that he's _completely_ blowing this out of proportion!"

* * *

It didn't take long to find Alexander. Right from the get-go, Snippy knew that he would never go into the wasteland willingly. And there were only so few rooms in their current base, so finding the Russian probably took five minutes, tops. And whenever he stormed off to sulk like this- which seemed to occur less and less with each passing day, thankfully- he _always_ went to whichever room he claimed as his.

" So," Snippy says to Alexander's back. The man wouldn't turn to face him, opting to instead stare out the window at the pitch-black world around them, " nice view?"

Alexander mumbles something that Charles can't make out. " What?" Snippy asks once he's gotten closer.

" Why do you always do this?" Alexander repeats, and Charles is more confused than ever.

" Do what? You're the one that got all pissed and stormed off."

" You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about," the engineer's turned to face him now, " saying that you're fine when you're obviously _not_!"

" I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm honestly fine."

" But you shouldn't be!" Alexander persists.

" Why do you think you get to decide what I feel?" Charles can suddenly feel himself become irritated, and stops himself. If they were both irritated with each other, nothing would be resolved. And because Alexander was so irrational in situations like this, it left him to be the sensible adult each and every time, without fail.

" I'm not! I just- christ, Charles, when you told me you loved me this morning-"

" Which didn't mean anything. Just a slip of the tongue." Charles interrupts, and Alexander gives him a look tinged with pain.

" Oh. So you _don't_ love me then?"

" I- shit. Yes. No. I don't know, okay?" Charles sighs. " Look, this is all so incredibly new to me and I'll be blunt in saying that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

" Oh." Alexander is silent for a few moments before saying, " well now I feel like a dick."

The two of them chuckle at that, and Charles thinks the entire situation's resolved itself. But he is proven wrong when Alexander speaks again.

" I'm really sorry that I didn't say anything when you told me you loved me this morning. It's not easy for me, either, you know. I really hate to admit this, but I'm not the most experienced in this field, either. I had Annie and little flings here and there, but _nothing_ like this."

" And what makes this different?"

" A lot of things. You're a human that isn't just pretending to like me to get to my money, and, well, to put things bluntly, we're both hot messes."

" I suppose you _do_ have a point there." Charles chuckles, and the Russian joins in soon after.

" So are we good?" Snippy asks after a few moments.

" I guess? Do you think we're good?"

" I suppose so. I can't take back what I said, but we can just pretend it didn't happen." Snippy says.

" Maybe I don't want that to happen." Alexander mumbles, cheeks turning a shade of pink.

" Oh, come on. And why's that?"

Alexander mutters something unintelligible.

" What was that?" Charles asks.

" Because _maybe_ I liked it," he mutters.

" You _what_? Why?"

" Christ, is this an interrogation?"

" No. I'm just curious." Charles says.

" Well _maybe_ I don't remember the last time someone told me they loved me and meant it. My parents told me they loved me, sure, but I don't really think anyone has since then. It meant a lot to me, okay? And I kind of liked it. So. There." The engineer's cheeks have turned an unflattering shade of scarlet, and he adamantly refuses to look at Charles.

" Oh," Charles says, " I'm sorry to hear that."

" It's no big deal." The engineer mutters, " not like anything can be done about it."

" It's still unfortunate."

" I mean, I guess." The engineer sounds indifferent and somewhat uncomfortable, like this wasn't something he ever wanted to talk about again.

The topic of conversation is abruptly changed when Charles yawns, though he attempts to smother it.

" You should go to sleep," Alexander says, to which Charles shakes his head.

" Can't. Captain's already up me about doing watch duty tonight."

" Does Captain ever give you a break?" The engineer asks with a chuckle.

" No. And I'm sure he doesn't seem keen on giving you one either."

" You have a point." Alexander says.

" Anyways, I think that the one that should go to sleep is you. No offense, but you look terrible."

" Gee, thanks." Alexander mutters.

" I mean it. Did you sleep at _all_ today?"

" ...No."

" Well why not?" Charles asks.

" I couldn't fall back asleep because I felt so shitty."

" Oh. Well you should go to sleep, then."

" Okay, fine, I'm sure I can blow off Captain for _one_ night. But you have to too." Alexander says.

" Why are you dragging me into this? I'm doing you a favor."

" And maybe I want to repay that favor. I won't sleep if you don't."

Charles sighs, " you're such a child sometimes."

" Yeah yeah. You give in too easily."

" Fair enough," Charles says as he gets into the bed. Once the engineer is absolutely certain the sniper isn't planning on leaving, he lays down next to him, taking in the scent of gunpowder, something the engineer was pretty used to by this point.

Charles is out within minutes, the exhaustion from the day getting to him extremely soon per usual. The engineer waits a few more minutes before rising out of bed, careful to not disturb the sleeping sniper. He takes his time in sneaking out of the room, though he stops at the doorway. Turning back to the sniper, he mutters a quick apology, knowing full well the sniper cannot hear him, though this does alleviate some guilt at his white lie. He wouldn't work the full night, just for an hour or two before turning in for real. This way, Captain wouldn't chew him out _too_ badly.

All in all, it was just another day in Captania.


End file.
